Sta.sh
Today I sat in the farthest corner of my office, hidden by shelving systems and zoned out for about five seconds. Then suddenly the tick tick ticking of that clock brought me to reality and I was amazed by the sound. Never had I noticed it ticking. Obsessive compulsive and never I had heard that sound until that moment. I was in awe. I listened to it and the random sounds of people in other offices around me. Closing doors and muffled coughs. It was like taking a step into reality. The reality where you realize what you do day in and day out. The time where you know you can accomplish so much more than you are.
At least that's how it is for me. I'm either completely worried about completing a task or completely procrastinating about starting one. Hot or cold. Wet or dry. I know I'm strange, and I'm ok with that.
I told Josh today that I wanted to recondition myself so that I only had to sleep for 4 hours. I would get so much accomplished. I feel like I'm always running out of time. There's always some deadline I have to meet at work. At home I have to finish in time to get some sleep before going to work. Vicious cycle. C o n s t a n t. Yet I continue the same way, on and on.
Eating eggrolls is often an excuse to have something to eat duck sauce with. Tonight they forgot to give us duck sauce in the carry out bag. No spare duck sauce at home either. This disturbs me.
I want to do a self study piece... for my little webcam shot. I want people to actually see how I see myself... and then again, I don't want people to see who I really am.
I have an original piece of art that my friend drew in pen. It's this tribal crazy looking thing. Then when you look very closely you realize it's a penis and testicles. Once you've seen it (like that Jesus picture) you can't forget what it is and I am continually amazed by it.
I'm going to hang it on my wall.
My mammaw (grandmother) will have been dead for 5 years April 27th. To this day I still want to call her and tell her about random things. Then I realize I can't call her anymore.
Rice has got to be the coolest food.
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"No one can harm me like this girl called Harmony..."
